No. 6 - Seeing from Awareness
As you practice informal an formal mindfulness, you will slowly become aware of the part of you that observes your inner experiencing (e.g., thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations). This place from where we observe our experiencing is our awareness. Seeing from awareness involves the source of our observing (awareness) and the process of observing or seeing in motion.
The place from where we observe inner experiencing has attracted many names: ‘The Observer-self’, ‘The Inner Observer’, ‘The Silent Witness’, ‘The Transcendent Self’ and ‘Spirit’. In my book I referred to it as my ‘essence’. Here I will refer to it as the observing-self but remember it is not a mental, physical or emotional ‘thing-like’ self; it is fluid.
The observing-self is that part of you that notices your inner experiencing during your mindfulness practice. It takes practice to be aware of this sense of self. Engaging in informal and formal mindfulness strengthens our capacity and desire to access observing-self.
In my book I described the frequently used ‘Sky and Weather’ metaphor to shed light on the observing-self. The observing-self is like the sky, while thoughts, sensations, and images are like the weather. The weather constantly changes and whatever the weather is like, the sky always has room for it. No matter how bad the weather, no matter how violent the thunderstorm, no matter how severe the sun, the sky cannot be damaged in any way. Even hurricanes and cyclones, which may cause death and destruction — even they are unable to hurt the sky. As time passes, the weather will change again and again, while the sky remains constant, pure, pristine and infinite. Like the sky, the observing-self provides the space on which our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations (the weather patterns) play out.
Observing-self provides a location which offers a consistent perspective from which to observe and accept all changing inner experiences. For example, you may notice the thought “I can’t stand this feeling” arise and then observe what happens – another thought will arise and so on….. the continuous flow of inner experiencing. As we tap into this ongoing stream of experiencing, we learn how thoughts, bodily sensations and emotions rise and fall.
Observing-self (awareness) cannot be ‘known’ through the intellect, because it is from awareness that thinking is observed. It can only be ‘known’ through experiencing it, through engaging in experiential strategies, such as informal and formal mindfulness practices that foster an orientation to accessing it.
When you practice accessing observing-self through noticing your inner experiencing you realise you are not your thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations, you are more than these. This experiential realisation is hugely freeing.
In my book I wrote about how I discovered that the observing-self is a safe place from which I could notice my experiences. A place that was untouched by the traumas I had experienced. This discovery hugely empowered me. My past, present and future life experiences cannot damage my essence.
Not only is observing-self a pure and perfect place from where we can see our inner experiencing, it also provides flexibility in seeing. Sometimes our attention gets absorbed in thoughts and feelings and so we can only see from them. But when we ‘step back’ and see these thoughts and feelings from awareness, we immediately have a different and wider perspective on our experiencing. We now have much more information that we can use to inform our decisions and behaviour.
Our attitude in observing is important. It is preferable to notice inner experiencing with an attitude of curiosity, openness, kindness and acceptance. The tone of the noticing is also key. We see more clearly if the noticing is soft, malleable and gentle, rather than forced.
I make no apology for the seemingly abstract and perhaps ephemeral tone to this blog because the observing-self is part of the human spiritual dimension. This dimension involves phenomena that is beyond intellectual grasp and that defy the principles that govern language and cognition. By its very essence of being spiritual, it enables us to transcend mental and emotional pain. It also provides us with a seamless connection with the universal life force. Spiritual doesn’t mean that it is less accessible. Every human being has the independent capacity to access observer-self in very simple ways. For example, every time you notice your inner experiencing you are accessing observing-self.
I will keep cultivating this powerful, mystifying, and magnificent dimension of my life forever. I hope you too, continue to discover the power of seeing from awareness.
-Kenneth Pakenham PhD