No. 10 - Values-based Action
In my prior blog I wrote about the importance of exploring, discovering, clarifying and connecting with personal values. In this blog I focus on taking action that is informed by personal values.
Personal values are expressed through our actions. It is through our actions that we can impact the world. When our actions are in-line with our personal values we experience a seamless flow of fulfilment, life purpose and authenticity.
Choosing how to behave should ideally be based on our values. In any situation where I am unsure of how to behave, I ask myself “how do I want to be and what is important to me here?” Then I act accordingly. In this way my day-to-day actions are in sync with my personal values.
At a more formal level, setting goals that are connected to my personal values is another way to ensure my future behavioural directions are in-line with my values. Goal setting is promoted in our society because it is helpful in providing graduated tasks to pursue in the service of achieving personally desired outcomes. However, goals that are informed by personal values are more meaningful and intensify and sustain the motivation to achieve them. Goals are most effective for engaging action and fostering behavioural change when used in the service of well-articulated values.
First we need to discover our values (as outlined in my prior blog), then set goals that give them expression. Personal values are ways of being or doing that are endless, whereas goals are things that we want to get, achieve or complete. For example, goals might include aiming to get a particular job, earn a certain level of income, learn a new skill, complete a project on time, buy a house, lose weight, get a partner, start exercising, or read more.
Unfortunately goal setting is often taught in the absence of values work. Focusing solely on goals and neglecting their link to personal values can perpetuate an oppressive cycle based only on the attainment of targets which leads to alternating peaks of achievement satisfaction and dissatisfaction prompting search for a new goal. The road to an engaged and fulfilling life is the process of living in-line with our values through pursuing values-based goals. Goals are the sign posts as we move in accord with our values.
There are many guides and tools for goal setting. One widely used goal-setting guide is SMART. Your goals should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely (Time bound).
Just as writing and dating your values is important, so is documenting your goals. Putting your goals in writing is like making a contractual agreement with yourself to pursue them.
Don’t get too academic about goal setting. As noted on many T-shirts “JUST DO IT”.
As I explained in my book, first I discovered my personal values in various life domains (e.g., work and career, leisure, intimacy, parenting, family, personal growth, health, spirituality and community). Then I set goals that would move me in the direction of these values. Then I acted on them!
It is helpful to review your values and goals regularly. Set a date for when you will review them. The importance of various life domains may change over time. Our perception of some values may also change and we may discover new passions. As we achieve our goals we need to set new goals or adjust them so they are in sync with changing life contexts. Connecting and giving expression to our values through our actions is a lifelong process.
Carefully documenting personal values and their related goals and regularly reviewing them produces burgeoning growth. As described in my memoir, for over 40 years I have demonstrated in my own life how powerful this process is. All of my goals that were yoked to personal values have been realised. The process is unstoppable!
The challenge with pursuing values-based goals is that there is often risk involved in choosing to behave in accord with personal values. In essence, the risk is that in taking such action we might fail in our pursuit of something that is important to us. Frequently the associated anxiety and fear prevents us from taking the values-based action. Typically what derails our pursuit of values-based goals is unwanted inner experiencing: emotional discomfort (e.g., fear), unhelpful thoughts (e.g., self-criticism), unwanted bodily sensations (e.g., anxiety symptoms like a racing heart), or memories (e.g., of past failures). The mindfulness, observer-self, acceptance and defusion strategies highlighted in my prior blogs can be used to manage this inner disquiet, so we can invest our energy in moving towards our goals in the service of personal values.
In summary, the engaged meaningful life involves determining goals along your valued path, then acting on those goals while accepting and making room for psychological pain when it arises. In this way you give authentic behavioural expression to heart-felt desires. This is your magnificent contribution. No one else can express the life within you as you can.
-Kenneth Pakenham PhD